fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
