If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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