I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
