Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
