u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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