He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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