My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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