every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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