If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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