90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
