I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
