The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
