i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
