this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
this boner is exhausting
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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