the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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