I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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