at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
