Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
