Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize