he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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