just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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