He disabled his match.com account in front of me
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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