I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
