We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
