question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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