he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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