hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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