just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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