nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
