About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i came on her dog
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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