Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize