I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
