he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
