when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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