So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
