Your face is a jimmy john
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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