do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
