How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
