My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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