I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
