I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
