Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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