He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
