well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
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what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
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Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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