i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
