Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
