I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
