how can u be prego again
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
