It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
