you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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