so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
