i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I love you. Go after that dick
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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