party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I look excited, but its just a facade.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
