another moral hangover. fuck.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
