We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
