I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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