At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
