My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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