jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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