but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize