How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I am mentally ready for anal.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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