Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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