Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
My vagina just recognized that song.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
